A letter from a daughter – thanks for what you do

Dear Karen,

This letter is so long overdue. There were many times in the last 9 months that I have meant to sit down and attempt to express the gratitude I have for you and your team at Menno Place. My sister shared a post this morning on Facebook, a prayer for the staff at your facility as they navigate this difficult time that puts them and the residents at such risk of such an invisible yet malicious and unknown threat. It reminded me that I had not yet done what I promised myself I would do after my dad died; find some way to express the deep gratitude I have for you and your amazing team.

My Dad, JPM, spent the last years of his life at Menno Place (Chalet). He passed away on February 27 of this year; just weeks before the world as we know it shut down. Seeing how this virus has affected facilities like yours, I am eternally grateful that he passed when he did and that we were able to spend time with him in his final days.

When he first entered the facility, I admit we were not that impressed with the “esthetics” (for lack of a better word) of the ward he was assigned. We all were in some denial, I think, about how bad his disease had become. The grip it had on him and the stage that the professionals had diagnosed him to be in. I think we imagined that he could still live somewhat independently with some assistance. It was hard to admit that was not the case, but we eventually accepted it.

I did not visit my dad as often as my other siblings (for a few reasons, but mostly because I do not live a quick drive away). But when I did visit, I was completely blown away by the staff in the facility.

I will try to find the words to describe how wonderful, caring, attentive, knowledgeable, and LOVING they were towards my dad:

For a team that deals with death on a regular basis, you would think my dad was the first person they walked through the journey with. I don’t mean that as in “amateur” I mean that as in compassionate. My family and I felt so special and loved by complete strangers who guided us through the most difficult time of our lives thus far. Although they do this likely every day or at least a few times a month, they did not act complacent toward us and our dad. They explained everything that was happening to him so beautifully – which was extremely helpful because, when you have never seen the process of dying, it’s a little bit scary and shocking.

I was so happy to see that he wasn’t alone. Whenever I arrived before family, there was someone sitting with him. Praying with him, holding his hand, calming him when he seemed agitated and always with beautiful music playing in the background.

Your volunteers had provided handmade shawls to envelope my sisters and my stepmom in warmth and love as they sat with my dad during his transition. I am so thankful for those volunteers and the time and love they put into helping people they would never meet. It’s an act of kindness that may not ever get properly acknowledged so I hope I can do that through this letter.

I would also like to thank the families of every single one of your staff who support them as they do this very important work. I know there are probably a lot of staff that have sacrificed time at home to work overtime and cover for co-workers that have to isolate. You, too, are heroes for lending us your loved ones.

I could go on and on.

I hope this letter reaches all of you and helps you to know that what you do, what you have chosen to do as a career, is SO appreciated. What you do matters. It has immense value and I am thankful that my dad got to meet you all. I am grateful our family was fortunate enough to meet you all and I hope that you are staying healthy.

With love, appreciation, and deep gratitude,

A grateful daughter, D